Friday, November 26, 2010


I really did not want to let go. My life would be empty, meaningless and totally without aim. I came home, alone, an empty bag in hand and a feeling of listlessness accompanied me as I went about my tasks today. Cooking, baking and eating just wouldn't be the same anymore.

My heart desires, my head has the plans but now the body does not cooperate. I stared out the Hyundai at passing cars and dumb buildings and wondered how long it would take before I were whole again, before I feel complete so that life could get clicking again. So that it goes back to it's delightful disarray and funny frustrations.

A week they say before they'd call and tell me what went wrong. A week? That's eternity. And then perhaps another week to make it right. Oh god. That's unthinkable. Unacceptable. Un...un...undesirable. Oh shoot.

What a strange thing. I had bought some yellow chrysanthemums today. I had thought it would brighten things up even more. You know...sunshine yellow....funny flowers, pretty in a glass the dining should have been a sign of pleasure and happiness, a sign of good things. Oh yes, a sign it was, indeed. A sign that today was a day that surely needed some brightening up. Because something was about to malfunction and be gone. 

On the way home today I tried to figure things out and arrange the next two weeks of my life in my head. The way physicists arrange complex equations in theirs. Taking out a minus sign here, replacing a symbol there.  But in this case, the things I could do in it's absence,  images of the past that I could fall on to. Or to contemplate with. Or that I could use without the assurance of its weight around my neck.  Or the things I could perhaps write and blog about while it's away to fill this visual void. Such emptiness. But most of the time we never do find the solutions to our perturbations.

Whatever. I hope it will not cost me too much. Because if it does I might have a fit. It's been only two years. Our relationship. It and I. I and It. Which brings me to the question ...when your Canon 450D malfunctions should you love it more or less? 

PS : This is not a post to garner sympathy...just laughs :P...I'll be posting on inspite of this temporary setback. But with more words than images perhaps. If you care that is.


Angie's Recipes said...

Gosh, Zurin, you had scared me for a while......until the last paragraph...I was relieved.
I wish you a lovely weekend!

Joyti said...

I've had my Nikon for - I think a year and half. Its still going strong (knock on wood, its too expensive to want to replace!).

chow and chatter said...

i couldn't figure this out till the end!

terri@adailyobsession said...

there's a chinese saying: if the old won't go, the new won't come! i say it's good, the passing of your old camera! altho i think it worked well up to yesterday. i suspect tt you want sympathy from your hub so he'll get you the camera you want. i have the same trick too :DDD

Love2cook Malaysia said...'s ur dslr doing now kak???

I'm using Canon EOS 450D too...just love it. Wonder how I'd be if it stop functioning! :(

pam said...

If my camera malfunctioned, I would cry. And cry some more. And then maybe see how much a bigger and better one costs. And then cry some more.

a quiet life said...

you sure had me going! at least yours just "malfunctioned", i tend to fall down hill with mine and hear the snap crackle pop... i have broke more cameras then i care to admit, and i swear i am not even a klutz! except on steep muddy hills...

oy, so glad you can still dazzle us while therapy works its magic :)

3 hungry tummies said...

Haha this is such a funny post! You must still love "it" like before if not more!

Joanne's Place said...

So sorry, I love my Canon too, even though it , and I , are aging quickly.

Cherine said...

I was really scared while reading your post!!

Sarah-Jane - said...

I'm another who got worried. I was thinking someone had died (or similar)

At least the only thing that died was something which didn't have blood in it's veins.

Boo hoo - hope you get camera sorted soon x

Cathy said...

LOL, I couldn't imagine what you were talking about until you got to the end. I think I would be pretty grumpy if my camera malfunctioned.

Linda said...

You rally had me going there for a minute girlfriend...

Elin Chia said...

Hahaha Zurin...thank God it was just your Canon heart goes pumping so hard and I just held my are a great writer !

Take care...words no images also welcome and will be here to learn more from you :) Wish I had your sense of humor :p

You can meanwhile hint hint to the other half of you for a new one :p



Related Posts with Thumbnails